To Offer It Up… Or Give It Up
A reflection on discerning how to suffer well, take responsibility, and heal
I’m going to say something that might rattle you:
We are made to flourish—even on this side of eternity.
Redemption begins now.
Each time we pray the Our Father and say, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven,” we aren’t just hoping for Heaven as some far off, distant fulfillment—we're inviting Heaven to break into our daily lives, into our pain, into our bodies.
When We Suffer
But what do we do when anxiety grips our chest, when trauma reverberates through our nervous system, or when depression dulls our body and spirit? Maybe we’ve already tried to get help—but nothing seems to work. So then what? How do we live? How do we keep going?
Do we “offer it up”?
Or do we give it up—and take the risk (and responsibility) of surrendering it all?
You might be thinking, “But I’ve been doing that. I’m trying to surrender. I’ve sought help, leaned into support, and done my best to carry this cross.”
Maybe you have.
Or maybe you’re just stuck—not because God is punishing you, but because He’s allowed it to teach you.
Like a gentle, patient Father, He watches His children try on their own until they finally reach the end of themselves. Sometimes, it’s only in those desperate, aching places—when we’re frustrated, exhausted, and out of answers—that we become open to learning a new way of letting go. A way of offering that doesn’t leave us chronically hurting, isolated, ashamed, or barely hanging on.
Here—right here—is where Christ meets us. He invites us to slow down and enter into a different kind of work: healing work.
It’s not passive. It’s not defeat. It’s surrender that feels unfamiliar and slow at first—maybe even unsettling. But over time, we begin to learn a new way of being. A way of living in our bodies, in relationship, and in God’s presence that brings integration, relief, and real transformation.
An Honest Tension
You might still be carrying questions that sound something like:
Isn’t this just my cross to bear?
Does going to therapy mean I don’t trust God?
Shouldn’t I just pray harder, persevere, and hold it all together?
Am I just being weak?
If these questions echo in your heart, hear this:
You don’t have to wrestle with them alone.
What if the very act of bringing these questions into the light—with a compassionate guide—could help you find clarity? Not through quick fixes or someone giving you all the answers, but through a process of being gently accompanied back to the Truth already dwelling within you. The truth living in the sanctuary of your own being—where the Holy Spirit abides.
So instead of doing more or trying harder...
What if you tried softer?
What if you made space to receive?
What if, instead of bracing yourself, you let go—just a little—and leaned inward?
What might unfold if you turned, even right now, to the Good Teacher?
“Come to Me…”
Jesus says in Matthew 11:28–30:
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden light.”
So here’s another question for you:
How many burdens do we carry that Jesus never asked us to hold on our own?
Family wounds.
Old trauma.
Silenced grief, shame, disappointment, or even joy.
Repressed anger at God.
Constant anxious or depressive states of being.
Self-hatred masked as self-sacrifice.
The thing is, Christ does not shame our suffering, our mess, our feelings.
He draws near to it.
And nearer to you through it.
If we just soften. If we develop trust with ourselves (much harder than trusting God many times) to touch our pain—and not be overcome by it for once— and slowly crack it open, and bring it to Him in the palpable memories alive in our brains… that’s how Christ asks us to give it to him
This process of unfolding toward ourselves and Him can never happen in isolation from our families, our friendships, our community, culture. We’re inherently relational.
Many times, Christ sends others—spiritual guides, mentors, teachers, and therapists—to walk beside us.
We Are Not Meant to Suffer Alone
From conception, we are formed through relationship.
We are wounded in relationship.
We heal in relationship.
Therapy, at its core, is relational.
A sacred, intentional space where your story is witnessed, where your nervous system can learn to finally rest, where shame begins to loosen its grip.
Therapy is not a rejection of faith—it’s a response to it.
It’s an act of trust that God can meet you in the most hidden parts of your being.
My Own Turning Point
There was a time in my own life when I over-analyzed, over-spiritualized, and over-functioned everything—suppressing my feelings, praying harder, pushing burnout away.
But my body told the truth:
Chronically tight back and shoulders
Shallow breath
Cracking voice
Brain fog
A deep ache I couldn’t name
Compulsive behaviors
I had confused;
repression with holiness.
Suppression for virtue.
And self-reliance for trust in God.
Eventually, I realized that asking for help wasn’t weak—it was faithful.
It was the way Christ was inviting me into deeper freedom and union (integration) with myself, Him, and others.
And so, for me, therapy was one of the most profound places I began to meet myself—and God—in a new way. I learned that my body has a story to share with me, that there is inherent wisdom stored within my bones. I also learned that I was fundamentally good through the eyes of my therapist who embodied the mercy of Christ, the tenderness of the Father, and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. I reprocessed my wounds, met hidden parts of me, and learned new skills.
Whether through therapy or another genuine form of “reconnection”—with another person, your body, your spirit, or with God—these relational pathways form the spiritual and neurological foundation for redemption to unfold as a living, present-tense process through deepening integration.
The Saints Knew It
Catholic spirituality calls for wholesome integration.
St. John Paul II wrote that “The body, in fact, and it alone, is capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine.”
St. Hildegard of Bingen saw the harmony of body and soul as a hymn of praise.
And St. Teresa of Ávila said, “The soul and the body are so closely united that it is impossible for the soul to be healthy if the body is ill.”
In their wisdom, there is no spiritual bypassing. No detachment. Just integration - of flesh and spirit, psychology and grace, healing and holiness.
Resonance in Neuroscience
Science now echoes what the saints knew intuitively: the body remembers.
Trauma reshapes the nervous system.
Anxiety and depression aren’t just cognitive distortions—they’re survival strategies wired into the brain and nervous system, influencing the entire system of the body, the mind, and what we have access to spiritually.
See, your amygdala doesn’t respond to theology. It responds to threat.
And if you’ve prayed and fasted and begged God to take it away—and still feel stuck—you are NOT weak.
You are likely protecting a younger, wounded part of yourself that never learned safety.
So accompaniment is not the answer. But it can create safe relationships to meet The Answer—Jesus—in the most neglected corners of your being.
Healing as Eucharistic Living
Healing can become an act of Eucharist:
A place of presence
A return to relationship
A way of offering your wounds, with Christ, in the hope of redemption
It’s where you might begin to reclaim:
Your voice and agency
Your God-given dignity
Your nervous system and emotions
Your story—without shame
Your relationship with Christ—not just in your head, but in your whole being
This is not an escape from the Cross. It’s a way of learning how to carry it with Christ and with others, without crucifying yourself in the process.
Healing is holy ground. It’s is a form of accompaniment—one that honors the full truth of the Incarnation: that God became flesh.
And through your healing, your own flesh becomes a testimony of resurrection.
You Were Not Made to Heal Alone
So contrary to the inner vows and survival strategies you’ve carried, you do not have to go at it alone.
There are wise, trauma-informed, faith-integrated companions who can walk with you.
And Jesus delights in meeting you there.
“The glory of God is man fully alive.” – St. Irenaeus
Let’s find that aliveness for you. Let’s heal together as a community, as a culture, as a church, and as a world - from the inside out.
And it starts with you.
Healing is not selfish.
It is an act of communion and witness.
It is your whole self—body, heart, and mind—being offered back to God in love.
How to Start Giving It Up
So when you’re ready, I invite you to make space for this reflection in your body.
Set aside 15–20 minutes. Find a quiet space. Light a candle if you'd like. Put on some gentle ambient music to help your nervous system settle.
1. Breathe and Connect
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Inhale slowly through the nose, exhale gently through the mouth.
Let your body begin to soften.
2. Gently Reflect
Ask yourself:
What burdens am I carrying alone right now?
What have I been trying to offer up that may actually be an invitation to heal?
Is there a part of me (a younger part, a fearful part, a tired part) that is asking for attention?
How might Christ be inviting me into healing through relationship?
3. Pray
In your own words—or with this prayer:
Jesus, I bring You my hidden parts carrying heavy burdens.
I don’t want to carry them alone anymore.
If You are offering me healing through therapy, through safe relationship, through deeper self-understanding—help me say yes.
Ground me in Your Presence, Holy Spirit.
Teach me to receive love in my body, soul, and mind.
Guide me to relate to these parts of me with curiosity and compassion. Amen.
Looking to Go Deeper?
If this reflection is resonating, and you're wondering what healing support could look like for you, here are a few pathways to consider:
Psychotherapy/Clinical counseling offers licensed mental health support that integrates neuroscience, attachment, and somatic tools to help regulate your nervous system and process trauma with care and professionalism.
Healing Coaching, Guidance, or Mentorship can offer a similar yet distinct (non-clinical) form of accompaniment that blends psychological insight, nervous system regulation, Catholic spiritual practices, and inner healing work—without the clinical diagnosis or treatment model—making it accessible for those seeking whole-person healing from a faith-informed perspective outside of clinical licensure limitations.
Each kind of support here can be relational, incarnational, and healing in some way.
If you're considering support and don’t know where to start, I invite you to email me at letsconnect@healingwithkolbe.com for a free consultation or explore my page to learn more.
You don’t have to walk alone anymore.
Healing is possible.
And Christ is already there, waiting to meet you in it.
With warmth,
Kolbe
